» Grandma Cut the Christmas Cheese (The Christmas Cheese Polka)
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Lyrics
SLEIGH BELLS RINGIN',
IT'S SANTA ON HIS WAY.
CAROLERS SINGIN',
IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS DAY.
GRAMMA'S SWINGIN',
SHE FLAUNTS HER DUNGAREES.
THEN SHE'S FIRST IN LINE TO HAVE SOME WINE
AND CUT THE CHRISTMAS CHEESE.

GRAMMA'S FIRST IN LINE TO CUT THE CHEESE,
OH, YES, SHE'S FIRST IN LINE AGAIN.
GRAMMA DOES EXACTLY AS SHE PLEASES,
SHE CAN CUT THE CHEESE LIKE MEN.
SHE CAN CLEAR A ROOM OF EX-MARINES,
SHE BRINGS A SAILOR TO HIS KNEES.
PEOPLE GAG AND COUGH AND SOON THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF
WHEN GRAMMA CUTS THE CHRISTMAS CHEESE...Limburger!

KIDS ARE CHOOSIN'
THEIR PRESENTS WITH GREAT CARE.
GRAMPA'S SNOOZIN',
HE'S SNORIN' LIKE A BEAR.
GRAMMA'S BOOZIN',
SHE'S CRAWLING ON HER KNEES,
THEN SHE'S BACK IN LINE TO HAVE MORE WINE
AND CUT MORE CHRISTMAS CHEESE.

GRAMMA'S BACK IN LINE TO CUT THE CHEESE,
OH YES, SHE'S BACK TO CHOP AWAY...Chop chop chop.
GRAMMA DOES EXACTLY AS SHE PLEASES,
SHE CAN CUT THE CHEESE ALL DAY...And night.
SHE CAN MAKE A STADIUM OF FOOTBALL PLAYERS
SCATTER FROM HER BRIE'S...Brie cheese.
PEOPLE RUN OUTSIDE, AND ALL THE CATS AND DOGS WILL HIDE
WHEN GRAMMA CUTS THE CHRISTMAS CHEESE......Roquefort!