Welcome to our service, satisfaction guaranteed

We know all about you and we know just what you need

We’re all that you have dreamed of and oh so much more

So take a seat, don’t miss a beat now

We will show you what’s in store

Sound mind and sound body, leave it all to us

You need not lift a finger or put up any fuss

We’re filling up your cup so drink while we advise

Our media concoction will make you strong and wise

We’re your radio, your paper

We’re your heroes on TV

We’re the pill that makes you happy

We’re the sugar in your tea

We’ll make you beautiful, successful

Everything you have ever wanted

Now it’s time to thank our sponsor

We’re Coginition, Inc.

We hope you’ve liked our service with its lifetime warranty

Discreet seduction and abduction is our specialty

Your friends, your work, your family

Now won’t they think you’re nuts?

No, you don’t have to worry as they too belong to us.

We’re your actions, we’re your gestures

We’re your personality

We’re your id, ego, and super ego

Your physiology

We make all of your decisions

We’re the voices in your head

We’re the ones that make you hungry

We’re the spoon that you are fed

We’ll make you beautiful, successful

Everything you have ever wanted

Now it’s time to thank our sponsor

We’re Coginition, Inc.